The Hidden Power of Forgiveness
The hidden power of forgiveness
-Rev Amir M. Ballard, M.Div October 5, 2019
There is a function of forgiveness and then there is a power of forgiveness, a power that is hidden.
Forgiveness has been an issue over the last week as a result of how Botham Jeans’ family responded to the sentencing of his murderer, a white female Dallas police officer. The primary issue has been how frequent Black America has been willing and able to forgive atrocities committed against black bodies by white America. Some have called it internalized oppression and self-hate. Others have claimed it as an example of cheap grace offered to a system that has had no issue, enslaving, raping, shooting, lynching and abusing black bodies with impudence. The track record of America’s treatment of its African descendent citizens is well documented. What is also on record has been Black America’s ability to forgive with shocking expediency. At the core of the debate has been what is real forgiveness and what does it look like?
Images of Jean’s mother and brother hugging the Dallas officer nearly broke social media. This was followed immediately by Black Twitter’s response to this display of forgiveness. As a Christian pastor, High School history teacher and parent I struggled with these events. I struggled because the history is all too clear. I struggled because the Christian response is also clear and I struggled because as the father of two young African-American males, this hits too close to home.
The primary critique came from a from those who have grown tired of what seems to be Black Christians willingness to give White America a free pass. The actions of Jean’s family seem to spit in the face of the thousands of Black men, women, boys and girls who have died and the hands of White Supremacy and Racism. And the optics of it, and the history of this country seem to bare out the critique as being legitimate.
But the function of forgiveness is pretty straight forward in scripture:
Matthew 6:12-15 English Standard Version (ESV)
12 and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.[a]
14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
We forgive because God forgave us. It’s not pretty, it’s full of theological and social implications but it is clear. The problem I believe we are facing is that we fail to understand the power of forgiveness.
While the function of forgiveness is to unburden one’s self from the pain of hate, the power of forgiveness is a much more interactive process. The function of forgiveness does not require the offending party to ask or even to know they have been forgiven. It requires nothing from the perpetrator. It is in some ways a very selfish act.
However, the power of forgiveness is anything but selfish. The power of forgiveness is hidden. In fact, the power of forgiveness is hidden because it lies in the hands of the perpetrator. In order to uncover this hidden power the perpetrator must do the following: 1) recognize they have done something wrong, 2) recognize the irrepetible harm they have caused cannot be reversed, 3) understand there is nothing they can do to “make it alright again,” 4) accept whatever consequences come as a result of their actions, 5) express a genuine and authentic desire to be forgiven, to apologize to say “I’m sorry,” in light of everything else and finally 6) to recognize that the offended party has no obligation to acknowledge any of this. In short, the perpetrator must feel guilty.
When the offender gets to a point where they NEED to be forgiven and they WANT to be forgiven, this is where we see the power of forgiveness. The power of forgiveness lies in the ability to make one feel reconnected to humanity. It grants the offender an opportunity to reconcile with themselves and those they hurt. It is a moment of utmost love, grace, mercy and humility. Grace and mercy are extended by the victim to a humble offender who is truly sorry for their actions. Love is the power that makes it happen.
This is America’s problem. This is White America’s problem. This is Black America’s challenge. White America says it wants forgiveness but does not acknowledge any wrongdoing. White America wants all the trappings and photo-op of forgiveness but refuses to be reflective on its own behavior. The offender must be willing to look their victim in the eye, be moved by their victim’s pain and suffering and come crawling begging forgiveness as if America’s life and soul depended on it.
But America is too proud for that. White America has brought into the stories of American exceptionalism and the grand story of the founders of this country that it was “Manifest Destiny” that we would conquer from “sea to shining sea.” America won’t acknowledge her sins or her guilt and so can never ask forgiveness for them. In her own eyes America has done nothing wrong. Nothing wrong to the Indegounious People, nothing wrong to the Enslaved African, nothing wrong to women, nothing wrong to the poor. They were all merely obstacles in the way of American greatness.
And until America can face, accept and acknowledge her sins of the past, she will never truly know the power of forgiveness.
In Dallas we saw the function of forgiveness. We saw a family that decided that their souls would not be eaten away by hatred that they would let grace and mercy win the day. They did that for themselves. Not for the police officer. No, she should feel the pain of this for the rest of her life. When she looks in the mirror she should know that she took an innocent man’s life for no reason. That her knee-jerk response was rooted in the genetic racist material that makes up the fabric of this country. She needs to feel that everyday of the measly 10 years she will serve in prison and everyday thereafter.